I wanna be Akshay

Dear God,

How you are? I know you are fine and doing great. But do spare a thought for me. I don't want to trouble you time and again asking you to make my wishes come true. After a great deal of thought, I have come up with an idea. Please turn me into Akshay. Hmmm.. Not don't ask me which Akshay? I am talking about that lean and mean friend of mine, Akshay Shukla.

I hate myself for getting heavier day by day. The fatter I get the more the risk of all kind of weird ills affecting me. Dad pesters me to get up early and got for the morning jog which is painful. He orders Mom and restricts the curry ( read Aloo) that is served into my plate. Make me thin like Akshay. He has no fat, no muscle, only bones. Make me like that. It doesn't matter even if I am assless :)

Once I have Akshay's body, I dont think my face will look good on it. As it is, I don't think I have a great face. It has become too puffy of late. So please replace it with that of Akshay. Hmmmm.. probably we need to get even the hair replaced. My hair is not great and his hair is not that bad. Well,without expecting too much( I am not asking you for Shahrukh's or Tom Cruise's hair) I will settle with his hair.

God, please don't misunderstand me. I am not just getting carried away by the looks and the physical appearance. There is more to it. In fact if you hear the entire story, you yourself will willingly help me.

Akshay is the bond in his project. He works day in and day out ( night out rather) solving all the issues. I have tried hard but I can't stay in the the office beyond 5:30 p.m. I tried the option of spending time in the cafeteria, but then I can't spend more than an hour there. So, the easiest solution for this would be to turn me into Akshay rather than me trying to be patient and all that stuff.

I feel like smoking. I want to booze. But that doesnt suit my image. One day, I lit a cigar and happened to stare into a mirror. Guess what? I was more like "kid with the sweet cigar" ( the one that was sold in the school canteen) in his hand. I don't have the rough, suave exterior which could be complemented by me smoking a cigarette. I don't know how he does it, but Akshay manages to be slim despite boozing. Boozing will make me fatter and bulkier. But I can't quit boozing. We need to find a solution to all this. The best would be to turn me into Akshay. I don't mind that "Kameena" look that comes with it.

There is another important thing, My Lord which I hope will convince you that my plea is true and earnest. I don't have a single girl friend although I just speak to some girls. Even if I start flirting with the best of my efforts, I will be no where near Akshay who seems to have at least 2 per city. I have already forwarded a application to Mr.Kama, The God of Love to help me in this matter. If I follow his suggestion and make an attempt to charm the girls, I will end up wishing You too may things too many times. It's better you turn me into Akshay. So God.. please.. I wanna be Akshay.

I hope I have justified my wishes with the right causes. I know You will understand me. Just another small request God, please retain the same set of teeth that I have. Don't replace them with Akshay's. That guy ends up visiting the dentist often and I dont want to go through all the pain.


In the hope that you will answer my plea,

Your wishful devotee,
Akshay ( I have already changed the name ...you only need to do the rest)